Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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