every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
time to smoke my breakfast
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I want to fling myself into the sun
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
