That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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