Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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