meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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