you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
