There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
