I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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