He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My life is pants optional.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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