she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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