im about as happy as oj after his trial
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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