What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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