I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
