No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
