We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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