It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Drake has all the answers
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
