Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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