just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
