I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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