I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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