You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
