the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
