my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
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Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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