If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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