i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
