thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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