Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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