Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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