I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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