I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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