I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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