he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
