Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
