Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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