So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
