I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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