Define "chronic" masturbator.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
