everyone is single if you try hard enough
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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