sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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