He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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