My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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