like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Sober January is a disaster.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
