Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
