i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
