I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
