i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
