as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
