White coat. Heels.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
