Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
