At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
