I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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