There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
