if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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