You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize