If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
