it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
