Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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