Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
