i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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