How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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