On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
