I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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